REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD READ THE ABHORSEN CHRONICLES:
- BADASS FEMALE PROTAGONISTS: from Sabriel the prefect of an all-girls school to Lirael a shy librarian both of whom turn into duty-bound zombie killing soldier priests who rescue princes and battle necromancers and fight against what is effectively a trapped god, you can keep your Hermione’s and Katniss Everdeen’s thanx (and can we just talk about how the girls in the school TOTALLY JUMP INTO HELP THE SOLDIERS AGAINST KERRIGOR DESPITE KNOWING THEY’RE PROBABLY GOING TO DIE??)
- INCREDIBLE WORLD BUILDING: set in two neighbouring kingdoms - one resembling 1930’s britain the other a medieval fantasy realm that’s fallen into anarchy plagued by Death NOT TO MENTION the world-weary soldiers manning the wall who are sick of your necromantic bullshit
- TALKING ANIMAL COMPANIONS: not as cheesy as you think, since one is a sarcastic cat spirit who is scary as fuck when his true form is revealed and the other a wizened grandmotherly-like dog who rips out undead throats
- COOL MAGIC: though it’s complicated it isn’t once confusing and you can’t beat dual sword-and-bell wielding, bells that can land you into death modeled after the Egyptian afterlife
- GREAT CHARACTERS AND DEVELOPMENT: all the characters are forced to carry a duty and some succeed whilst others don’t but that’s okay because being born into a society doesn’t necessarily mean you belong there
- GOOD ROMANCE: it’s subtle and forged out of friendship and trust and doesn’t define any of the characters or control any of the events in the story
- NEW BOOKS COMING SOON: including Clariel which is a prequel based on Chlorr of the Mask WHO WAS AN ABHORSEN WHO TURNED EVIL!! like how awesome does that sound give me all the downward spirals for female necromancers AND there’s apparently going to be a sequel to the series too!!
- POSSIBLE FILM IN THE MAKING: which means if you wanna get on that fandom first get on it now
- IT’S JUST REALLY GREAT?? despite it being marketed as a YA book it’s still riveting and mature enough for older audiences (I think I might appreciate it more now that I’m older tbh) just UNF
Cost of the Mars Curiosity Rover - $800 million
Cost of a team to operate the Mars Rover - $1 billion
Total Cost of the Mars Science Laboratory mission - $2.5 billion
Accidentally drawing a penis on the surface of another planet - Priceless
for those of you interested in such things, here’s the chart that the majority of “pepper steak” in OFF was sampled from.
“pepper steak” by the washboard rhythm kings
it’s been four years folks, so let’s take a minute to honor the old guard of the homestuck fanfic thread. folks who bravely shipped where no-one had shipped before, paving the way for the current greats and also infinite john/dave. folks like:
gabu, author of the first major darkfic(s)
quezeka (?), who wrote a major story about the kids playing d’n’d that evolved into some sort of epic featuring doc scratch maybe i don’t remember i never finished it
tenebrais, pioneer of gen and also the first person to attempt to write a major fic about the trolls (and this was pre-act 5)
sushi database, probably the first person to extensively write about kid!mom and certainly one of the very few to get her personality almost right
dellaluce/sarasvati, who showed us the wonders of jade/dave, and whose work i still remember fondly as babby’s first formative shipping experience
and many others, who i can’t remember at this time because it was four years ago and my memory ain’t that good.
anyway, here’s to you.